The Amazing Race 16: Eps 4 to 8

[spiderbraids]

Ep 4:
1. Interestingly enough, we're skipping the airport drama this week, even though it results in back-runners Louie/Michael (8th last leg) getting on the same flight to Frankfurt with Jet/Cord (1st last leg). Their earlier flight means that they're also one train earlier to Hamburg.
2. Nighttime Hamburg, and it's the return of the Intersection, for a tandem bungeeing Roadblock. We see Jet performing the jump without losing his hat :-) and Jordan(/Jeff) and Caite(/Brett) getting lost on the subway on the way to the bungee. Of course :-)
3. Next stop, Kaiser Wilhelm statue. Detectives take a cab, cowboys take the subway. At the statue, we have a Detour between speed-eating sauerkraut (with a polka playing the in background) and kick soccer balls into targets. We see L/M and Carol/Brandy handle the kraut easily. We also see Jordan/Jeff's cabbie getting lost on their way to the kraut (at one point, they're shown exiting a highway), prompting Jeff to comment that even if they'd picked the other Detour choice they'd end up in Switzerland :-D
4. Soccer pitch. Jet/Cord have never been on a soccer pitch before, but that doesn't stop them from making short work of the task. Caite has played soccer since she was 5, but she still struggles a bit thanks to a cramp. Ouch. We also see Joe(/Heidi) struggling, as a holdover from the llama kick in Argentina. We see Jordan try to plug her ears while eating the sauerkraut... not surprisingly, they're nowhere near finished with the cabbage in the given time limit, so they're switching to soccer.
5. After the Detour, A whole boot of beer at the Haifisch Bar. Couldn't have been any good for those who ate the cabbage ;-) We hear tons of Homer Simpson style burps, and Brent throwing up on the sidewalk (EW!) And we find out that Jet/Cord have never drunk beer. No, really. Who'da thunk? :-)
6. Next stop: Beatles-Platz, and a walk through the night time district to Indra Club, where the Beatles first played, prompting the cowboys to comment, "We're not in the bible belt anymore" :-) At Indra, we have a Beatles tribute band playing "Please Mr. Postman", and the detectives winning the leg (and $5000), while Jordan/Jeff don't get eliminated.

Ep 5:
1. This week, we begin with a bus ride to some place in France, which is unusually during the off-time between legs. The actual leg begins with a drive to a bakery in Ste. Menehoud (Dan/Jordan are thankful that they're driving automatics... yep, trouble with sticks again), where everyone buys a baguette, which they then open to get a clue to drive Main de Massiges. Of course, someone (Louie/Michael) makes the obvious "massage" joke :-)
2. Massiges was a major battleground of WWI, so they're giving the racers a big re-enactment, replete with Fokkers flying around. It's a Detour between crawling under barbed wire and decoding Morse code. All the teams choose the former, with the key word being "choose". We see the detectives thinking they're in WWII.
3. We see Jordan/Jeff getting lost driving out of the starting point, and (much later) struggling with the concept of getting a clue from the baguette. We see Jordan talking while eating a baguette, with the subtitle "????" :-D After the Detour, we have directions telling the teams to walk 1/2 a mile south following a signpost (keep that in mind for later)...
4. ...before we have a Blind U-Turn, where we see the detectives putting up Joe/Heidi (currently in 3rd). When J/H come up to the U-Turn, they're pretty sure that the detectives did this. So much for the Blind part... After the U-Turn, they head to a church and bike (in vintage outfits and mustaches, I might add) to the pitstop, and the detectives win the leg, and plasma TVs.
5. Carol/Brandy crawling under barbed wire: "Smart people do Morse Code, dumb people do this." And whattaya know, we see them passing Caite :-) We also hear them saying "This is not what I signed up for" :-D J/H struggle at the Morse Code detour, and I don't blame them, since they're playing the message at a speed that only a good radio ham could copy, and with loud explosions to boot.
6. B/C completely miss the directional signpost and go straight to the bikes, before riding to the pitstop where Phil turns them back to get the other clue. J/J finally reach Massiges, and their Speed Bump is to reinforce the trenches using a bunch of long sticks. After the Speed Bump, J/J do the crawling (not surprisingly) and Jeff yells at Jordan to drag her boobs along the ground :-) before quipping that "The war is over" (their message) because it took them so long to get here :-)
7. After having to bike back to get their missed clue, B/C don't drop any positions and finish in 6th. J/J follow the clues properly, noting J/H's U-Turn on the way, and finish 7th. J/H get a field elimination like Adrian/Dana, and the Morse message turns out to be two sentences, so... yeah.

Ep 6:
1. Another drive-only leg, with a drive to Reims to find a Joan of Arc statue and a lady playing a saw. And here I thought those only existed in cartoons :-) Saw lady gives them a cork saying "Champagne Leclerc-Briant", which is supposed to clue them to travel to the Leclerc-Briant factory. The cowboys note that there is actually a town called Champagne and end up driving to it (whoops!) Dan/Jordan think that champagne is wine mixed with club soda, Jordan(/Jeff) thinks that Joan of Arc carried all the animals, and Caite(/Brent) thinks that Joan was a GUY :-D :-D :-D
2. Roadblock: "Who's ready to cave in?" Task involves descending into a cave, find a bottle marked with race colors, and open it with a sword (!) This produces a label saying "Tattinger le Marquetterie", their next destination. Now here's where things get interesting: Most teams get directions to the headquarters in Reims, while some get directions to a mansion in Pierry. The latter is what they're looking for. We see the cowboys making light of traveling to the wrong destination twice in a single leg, saying that people pay thousands of dollars to take the tour they had :-)
3. The receptionist at the Tattinger HQ has plenty of work having to turn teams towards Pierry, and Steve/Allie (you remember them, right?) fix their car fender with duct tape after somehow damaging it driving to Tattinger HQ :-) Mansion has a Detour between searching a vineyard for race-marked grapes and building a champagne glass pyramid and filling it with champagne. The detectives get a local to guide them to the mansion in first, and do the sensible searching task. We see Michael comment, "If I can find crack in people's backsides, I can find grapes" :-)
4. Pitstop is at some champagne association place, where Phil has a mime accompanying him :-) We see the detectives getting a trip to Cancun, and we also see that Brent/Caite are so far behind, they follow Carol/Brandy (2nd) right to the pitstop before realizing their error and heading to the Detour.
5. Interestingly, three of the teams go for the pyramid side of the Detour. Dan/Jordan are the only ones to actually succeed (albeit with a slighly-awkward pyramid), prompting them to consider it as a side career :-) while the others are Brent/Caite and Jordan/Jeff. Naturally, they get lots of broken glasses (B/C get a particularly epic fail edit). B/C actually start with the vineyard searching before trying their hands at the pyramid (at Caite's whining) and switching back to the search after their epic fail, and still finish ahead of J/J, thus finally eliminating team Big Brother, but not before we see J/J quip, "How p!ssed do you think Phil is?" and feign surprise at being eliminated :-)

Ep 7:
1. This week, they're headed to the Seychelles, and quite a few teams pronounce it as "Sey Chellies" :-) Due to limited flights, everyone's taking the same flight, to which the detectives say, "That stinks." Consider yourselves lucky that your lead wasn't already wiped out since Leg 5... Steve comments that this race is the closest thing to a World Series. Nice analogy, except that he actually WENT to the World Series with the Phillies.
2. At the Mahe Airport, everyone takes a tag to determine the order that everyone gets on a helicopter to another island (in two batches of three teams), which is essentially decided by whoever was smart enough to try for optimal seat placement on the flight to the Seychelles (B/C (!) and Dan/Jordan). On the choppers, we see Dan/Jordan noticing a rainbow chasing them, and Allie saying a prayer. At the island we have a Detour between luring a tortoise with a banana and carrying coconuts by ox. Steve/Allie and Carol/Brandy play with the tortoise (only the former finish, while C/B's tortoise wanders off the course), while three of the teams that go to get coconuts end up having to double back to pick up a dropped coconut. We get to see D/J call their ox "Box" and comment on him pooping, replete with censorship :-) as well as Steve saying "I've got money on you" to the tortoise :-)
3. The next stop is a Roadblock near yet another island. Bad news and good news for Steve/Allie: Bad news is they forgot their bags back at the Detour. Good news? Unlike Zev/Justin, they still have their money and passports. Roadblock involves diving to get a bottle and assemble a cloth puzzle. Phil's voiceover to introduce the task has to be partially subtitled :-)
4. Cloth puzzle leads racers to the pitstop, and your winner is Steve/Allie, winning a bunch of prizes from 7-Up (who are sponsoring this leg... go figure!) including, for the downtime, massages and a beachside dinner; and after the race, $7000 and free 7-Up. It'll be a bit of a problem for Steve/Allie from here on without their bags, though...
5. Louie has a hard time swimming to the beach, such that he has to take off his shirt to swim (hey, I'm not complaining), and at the pitstop, Phil quips that Louie might get fit by the end of the race, to which he does a little bodybuilding :-) He also asks the detectives and B/C about who they'd want out next. They say Carol/Brandy, and Brent says of everyone's hate for them, "It's pretty anonymous, amongst the teams" :-D Well, it's a double whammy for them: C/B squeak past the cowboys after they've forgotten their bottle on the boat and have to swim back for it, and even then, it's an NEL. Hasn't been a good couple of legs for them, has it?

Ep 8:
1. Next stop, Penang, Malaysia, by way of a bunching ferry and flight. Steve/Allie have gotten themselves a few plastic bags for their goodies and borrowed some other teams' clothes. While waiting for the ferry, we see B/C make small talk with the detectives. Caite threatens to U-Turn C/B, while Brent works in the word "unanimous" :-) On the plane, Jet/Cord say that their flight has put them tied for 1st (and 6th) and I can't disagree with that ;-)
2. First stop, a snake temple. We see the cowboys say "How do you say fast in Malaysian?" "Fast" :-) Dan/Jordan claim that they've got the best cabbie on the island. Unfortunately, they don't hang on to him for long, as they find the Detour's either at a different Chinese temple, or at some park, rather than at the snake temple. If there's any important rule of hiring cabs on TAR, it's to always have them waiting at every stop. Among the taxi troubles had during this leg: We have Steve/Allie's cabbie saying "I'm not sure" and "No problem", a few cabbies taking teams to the wrong temple, some teams getting out of their cabs to beat the traffic, Jet/Cord having to get some guy to call a cab in, someone trying to steal Steve/Allie's cab, and D/J's second cabbie having to stop for gas a la Jodi/Christie in India. On the way to the Chinese temple, we see the detectives comparing their cabbie to Jason Bourne after passing two teams in quick succession.
3. While everyone else is busy carrying large incense sticks up the stairs at the Chinese temple, prompting Brent to say "I wish God would turn on the air-conditioning" :-D and Louie to hack and wheeze his way through the task, the cowboys are busy balancing poles on their heads and running with them. They're making it look easy, but the only other team to even try it (Steve/Allie) find it too hard (and they're only there because they got lost on the way to the Chinese temple).
4. Anyways, just like that, the cowboys are in first place and heading to a seaside village, at which they have their Speed Bump: go to Tropical Spice Village, smell some herb mix, find tea made from said herb mix, deliver it to swinging guru. The cowboys comment that even with stuffed noses they can smell it. Still takes them two tries (out of 3) to get it right, though...
5. And they're still in first heading into the Roadblock: Smash coconuts until you find one with dye, and make a Hindu offering out of it. The detectives manage to find a dyed coconut quickly (like, the 2nd one), while D/J mistakenly give just the coconut to the waiting priest and of course gets turned back.
6. Pitstop is at some mansion back in Penang, where the cowboys finish their "incredible" comeback with a first place finish and a trip to Maui. We see C/B actually asking for Phil to give them the eyebrow :-) before checking them in for 2nd. At the other end, we have Steve/Allie getting eliminated. In fact, the finish order of this leg is the exact reverse of the starting order (!)